The patriotic fanatic is like that partner you sleep with today so there won’t be a next time, but there is. He or she is all heart, you know. Toxic relationships ooze that sticky stuff. There are couples who, when they seem lost staring out the car window, are thinking about how to get rid of you. Being all heart, being patriotic is simply a bore. How do I get rid of them? How do I tell them? A patriotic fanatic is that guy you never understood marrying your sister. She will tell you he insisted so much, that he was always there, that he was all heart. A Vox sister-in-law, a lover with the Argentine jersey: that wasteland ahead. And we, worried about the Strait of Hormuz.
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We have been seeing images for weeks of people dressed with flags and locked in chants, Viking hats, Paraguayan deputies, slightly rigged Argentine empanadas and vamosespaña. But at this moment when the medical mutuals are negotiating a lower insurance for Lamine Yamal, it is obvious that we will need something more than Mariano Rajoy (that guy who, bam, might turn into a bag and, bam, is the enigmatic M. Rajoy) to unsettle the rival team, led by a Messi who, like Travolta in Grease, behaves strangely when he is with his friends.
I would take out judge Peinado for Cucurella telling him that Lautaro is Begoña Gómez
Our guys – who are not in Thermopylae formation, but more like leaving high school – only lack a bicycle and believing that Chanquete has not died. That’s why the lineup needs a shake-up, because ahead they will face those guys who are not willing to lose a World Cup because of a goal from a kid from Don Benito. Guys who have watched all the Netflix thug series (and believed them) and are strong, handsome, theatrical, all braces, chains and tattooed arrows, shaved hairstyles, arrogant and full of football anecdotes, spectacular partners, memories and barbecues.
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Besides Rajoy for Laporte, I would take out judge Peinado for Cucurella telling him that Lautaro is Begoña Gómez. I would have Rodri accompanied by Óscar Puente, since it always (since Río Rojo) impresses to see mature men with the shirt tucked under the pants. Tellado about De Paul and Carlos Cuerpo talking to Messi until he quits football. But I don’t know if it will be enough for the inevitable: on Monday everything will be Evita or Díaz Ayuso.
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